Fearless

Overcoming the Fear of Starting Again

Ladies, you know when you tell a friend about a new diet you’re trying, but by the next time you see them you’re carrying around an obvious extra 5-10 pounds. It’s clear that you didn’t stick to the diet, but they still ask how the diet is going. First of all, is that person even a friend? Like, mind your own, Karen! I like things like peanut butter toast and pasta. Do you even have any joy in your life, Karen? Do you?

You finally take action on that something you want to do or a dream you want to chase, but you let life and every excuse get in the way. Why is it so hard to start again after we hit those plateaus? Why is it easier to make an excuse than to make an effort?

I haven’t written much of anything since June. This five month break feels like the the extra pounds I hope no one notices. Were bets placed on how soon I would give up on my dream or did no one notice? I’m not sure which one is worse.

I’ve never been big on resolutions, but at the beginning of the year, January 2019, I decided I wanted to have goals to work toward. I even picked a word for the year, and ordered a necklace with my word on it as a reminder. My word is FEARLESS. I wanted to start writing down some of my ideas. Put them on paper. Maybe even start sharing them. By March I was excited, I went all in, bought a domain and started working on my first blog post. I’ve honestly never felt so proud of myself. I went on to write more and even had a couple articles published in an online magazine. Then every day life caught up with me.

I took such a long and unplanned break from my blog over the Summer that Ive been scared to start again. I’m scared if I start again I’m admitting that I let myself quit, I did a bad job, didn’t stick to it. It feels easier and more like my old self to never come back to it. Just don’t say anything, and it will be forgotten that I tried to do this thing I really wanted to do. People will forget that I tried, and I can tell myself I wasn’t really that good at it anyway.

Pretend like it never happened and get back to the old me, but I’d be breaking the promise I made to myself to be FEARLESS. Plus I like my necklace and don’t want to be a phony when I have it on, so I decided not to give up.

The only way to get started or restarted is to just do it. My goal today is to publish a new blog post. No. Matter. What. I know the first one will be the hardest, so it’s important to forget perfection. Who cares if there’s a picture attached. Just write the words and hit publish. Just write the stupid words.

And what better topic than this fear of picking back up and restarting. I decided to start with making a list, because I like lists and lists aren’t scary. I made a list of all the reasons why I’m scared to get back to blogging. After I wrote the list I went back and read my reasons. My first thought was these are dumb reasons. Then I thought, but isn’t that the point? Isn’t it so typical of fear to fill us with dumb excuses.

So, in an effort to make you feel better about your dumb reasons for giving up on your goals or dreams, Ill share my dumb reasons and debunk them.

1. I’m not actually good at it, and the more I write the more it will show- You’re as good as your confidence, and the more you write the better you get.
2. People will talk about how I quit- Don’t be so vain. Nobody’s talking about you, but if they are then *high five* your writing is the topic of conversation. That’s the point.
3. I don’t want to only write about being a stepmom- So don’t. It’s your blog. Do whatever you want.
4. What if I run out of topics- What ifs are goal crushers.
5. There are so many things I want to write about that feel off limits- It’s your blog. Write whatever you want.
6. What if I fail again?- What if you don’t, and so what if you do?
7. It’s not comfortable, and I like a good comfort zone. You also got chubby when you were in a “comfort zone” with fitness, so…

Making a list of what’s holding me back really gave me a new perspective. I am the only person standing in my way. Likely, you are the only person standing in your way too. My advice? Put your big girl panties on, or your FEARLESS necklace, either way, and do the thing. Start with a list if you need to because lists aren’t scary.